Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and our relationship is going very well. The issue is with his mom. She is very controlling; it’s “her way or the highway.” We’ve talked about getting married in the future, and we don’t want her controlling our marriage. How can we confront her in a loving way?

Jim: You’re absolutely correct. You don’t want your mother-in-law controlling your marriage! And while it might be tempting to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she’ll back off once you actually tie the knot, based on what you’ve described, that doesn’t seem likely.

Our counseling team has dealt with this question in the past and suggests that it is your boyfriend’s responsibility to take the lead on this issue. If he’s afraid to confront her or simply doesn’t want to rock the boat, we suggest that you make a date with him and then patiently explain that you can no longer tolerate his mom’s attempts to control your relationship. Then work on setting some firm boundaries for her.